Living with a Regretful Heart
by PurpleLlamanator
Summary: FAX TWOSHOT Everyday Fang finds himself reminiscing in his ultimate mistake; marrying Lissa Beaumont. Every time he gets close to ending things he can't bring himself to go through with it. After meeting a girl at a club that he can't seem to get out of his head, he sees another chance at what he lost.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N~ This is going to be a twoshot! It's just too much to compile into one chapter for my tastes and I don't want to make it a full blown story. Please enjoy though :) **

_**"I made decisions that I regret, and I took them as learning experiences. . . I'm human, not perfect, like anybody else,"**_

_**-Queen Latifah **_

* * *

><p><em>Fang~<em>

I had many regrets in life. So many things I've said I yearned to take back. Many experiences that I wished that I could just have one more shot at. I'm sure I wasn't the only one that wanted a chance to redo their life. I couldn't be the only one that hated my life and the position I landed myself in.

I had so many mistakes like everyone, I'm sure. Some were minor and barely a distant memory that I could easily shrug off now. There were the other ones though, the ones that weren't so tiny, that stuck with you every single day you woke up. It could be something that simply made you cringe at the thought if something or someone were ever to spark the memory.

I however, got to see my greatest mistake _every single day of my life._

Sounds a bit dramatic, I know. That was honestly how I felt about the situation. I was young and so easily conformed. I let myself rush into something that I had absolutely no clue about it would seem. And now I was paying for it.

Because my mistake ladies and gentleman, was my lovely and beautiful wife Lissa Beaumont. Well technically it was Ride now but I tried not to acknowledge that.

Lissa and I had been high school sweethearts. We had started dating our junior year and continued all throughout college until I proposed after we graduated. It seemed like the right thing to do at the time. My parents loved her, her parents loved me; I just felt it was what was supposed to happen. You date for four or more years, you get married, and you have kids. It was the process, the way things were supposed to go. I guess I never really asked myself if I was truly in love with this woman. I think I just settled with her and did it more out of obligation.

And now look at me. Age 25 wishing I could take back my life. Get a time machine and reverse all the way to the point of when I graduated high school. Still so young and already hating life and the boring process. A tedious job, a high-maintenance wife; I felt like I was aged way more than my time.

And it wasn't that I hated Lissa, because I didn't. I cared about her a lot. In fact, she seemed perfectly fine. It was as if she couldn't sense that I was depressed or that I didn't love her anymore. I thought I made it so obvious too sometimes. I tried to cover it up, always put on a façade so she wouldn't catch on. But when we stopped spending time with each other and had no more in depth conversations like we used to, it made me wonder if she really loved me that much or she just wanted to ignore it and act like everything was how it was when we had been dating.

Of course I've looked into divorce or separation at least. I never would go through with it though. I didn't know why but I just couldn't bring myself to take that final step. I think deep down I was hoping she would present the papers to me, assuring me that I wasn't an ungrateful bastard and this really wasn't working out for the both of us. I dreaded the day she would ask for kids.

"Man, if you're so upset with your marriage then you need to tell her."

I rolled my eyes at my best friends' words. "I just- I don't know how to tell her," I muttered. It was true. While I was done with my marriage, I cared about Lissa to a certain extent. I was considering the idea of giving her the papers and it's going to hurt one or both of us. It's a breakup and it's going to bring pain to at least one of the parties. I knew that whatever I did, it would have a permanent outcome. I didn't want to regret my decision right after making it.

"You said so yourself. You guys haven't even had sex for six months, Fang. _Six months!_" Iggy shook his head. "If I was her, I'd see this coming."

I narrowed my eyes on him. "It's not like she denies me sex and so I want to leave her. She's tried. . . I'm just not into it anymore. . ." I trailed off awkwardly, leaving the rest hanging but we both knew what I meant. _I wasn't interested in sex with her. _I couldn't be too irritated with him. He had a point. Though sex didn't count for all of a relationship it had to do with a big part of it.

"I bet she's fucking around," Iggy snorted.

If she was, I honestly wouldn't blame her. I wasn't giving anything to her and though that doesn't mean she should cheat on me, I wasn't being the most affectionate husband. I didn't like the idea of her sleeping around because I have never done that to her, but I couldn't bring myself to truly care. I wouldn't be surprised by the fact either. She claims to stay late for work purposes but I know better. Iggy bringing this up to me was not the first time I considered that she might be cheating.

"Dude, that right there should make you get a divorce or at least take classes with a marriage counselor." He reclined back on his couch next to me before pointing right at my face. "If I can sit here and tell you that there is a possibility that someone other than you is fucking your wife and all you do is shrug-" He shook his head again. "If someone was messing around with Nudge behind my back. . ." He couldn't even finish his sentence as his face tensed in anger and his fists tightened. Just the idea seemed to piss him off.

"I've considered the counselor," I grumbled.

"And," Iggy asked before sipping his beer.

"I'm not going to pay some stupid shrink that thinks he can fix a marriage that has been broken from day one." Not worth my money or my time. They were like doctors. Not really useful and only wanted to get money out of you. Neither cared about their patients in my opinion.

The door opening and then slamming shut had us quieting down. Iggy's pale blue eyes visibly brightened as we heard Nudge make her way to the sitting room. When she entered her eyes widened a bit when she saw me. "Oh hey Fang," she smiled before walking to her husband's side and kissing him firmly on the mouth.

The scene made my stomach clench and I had to look away. I felt a jolt of envy go through me and it wasn't because I wanted Nudge or Iggy. I saw her as a sister and as for Iggy, I didn't swing that way.

What I wanted was their connection. The obvious love they held for each other was set deep in their gaze. It made me turn with jealousy and I knew in that instant I wanted to leave. I had enough of their spectacle whether it was intentional or not.

"You don't need to leave! I just got here," Nudge whined in protest. Iggy simply pulled her onto his lap and I moved even closer to the exit. These two never held back with the PDA, I swear.

"Lissa should be getting home soon." That was a good excuse to tell Nudge but Iggy however knew better.

"Call me later. Maybe we can go out, you know? Like a guy's night."

_Yeah, I knew what he meant._

* * *

><p>I never took Iggy up on his offer. Not. Once. It would have been different if we just went to a bar and grabbed a couple of drinks. But then again I knew Iggy and I knew that wasn't quite what he had in mind. There would be alcohol but there was no doubt in my mind that he wanted me to meet somebody. He was always adamant that Lissa was sleeping around on me and he wanted me to go out there and have fun of my own.<p>

Just the thought of doing that though made me sick. I'm not that kind of person. I'm not the type of guy to cheat on his wife of three years no matter how upset I was with my marriage. I never even considered Iggy's proposition for a minute.

Until I knew for a fact Lissa was having sex with a guy other than me. Like I said, there was always that inkling in my head that she was cheating. But it didn't really set in until I had the proof. It happened a few days later when I once again got back from hanging out with Iggy. Unlike most nights, Lissa was actually home when I got back and it made me want to groan. I preferred to be in the house when she wasn't.

"Where have you been all day?" Lissa was grinning at me as she stood at the stove preparing some sort of dinner.

"I was at Iggy's. I thought you would still be at work." I walked further into the kitchen for a drink when she blocked my path.

"I thought I'd come home early so we could spend the night with each other." The way she said it, I knew what she wanted. She thought we could spend the night together, _in bed._

"I already ate with Ig. I thought you wouldn't be coming home until late." Not wanting to flat out tell her no, I tried to let her down easily. I attempted to subtly dodge the question but it was clear that I was not interested at the moment.

I watched as she sort of deflated at my words. It was obviously not the response she had wanted. Instead she settled on leaning in to give me a peck on the lips. When we were almost kissing though, I stiffened and recoiled a bit. It wasn't by much but she sure as hell noticed when her mouth landed on my cheek.

"What's wrong," she frowned.

I stared at her intensely having mixed feelings at the moment. In the end I settled with a slight shake of my head. "Nothing. I'm just not feeling too well. I think I'm going to lay down." I didn't wait for a response and turned around sharply giving her my back as I made my way to our room.

Well, Iggy was right and he would probably rub that in my face. Lissa was cheating on me and I wasn't happy nor was I too upset by the fact. When she had moved in to kiss me, it gave the perfect view of her neck as her red hair brushed to the side. A hickey had been on the crook of her neck and it looked like she had at least attempted to cover it up. The makeup must have rubbed away some and I saw it clear as day on her pale skin.

I haven't done more with her other than a swift kiss on the lips. It was apparent to me that that mark was not put on her by me.

I didn't feel the need to confront her about it though. Like I said earlier, I couldn't blame her for turning elsewhere for her desires. I think it was still wrong of her to do but I honestly didn't care. What I did do however, was a send quick text to Iggy.

_Let's go out. _His response was instantaneous.

* * *

><p><em>"<em>What a tramp," Nudge pursed her lips as she shook her head.

We were all sitting at a table in some popular club that Iggy and Nudge went to all the time. According to those two, this was the place to be on a Friday or Saturday night. I couldn't see why though. The music was incredibly loud that I felt like my ears were throbbing, it stank, and it was crowded. _Why would anyone come here?_

It was supposed to be just Iggy and I but when she found out where we were going, she was adamant about going. I didn't know if it was because she didn't trust Iggy in this place or if she actually wanted to have fun, but sure enough when I arrived at their place she was all dressed and ready to go.

"Please tell me you are going to take that final step and divorce that cow."

I hesitated and that was all it took for the both of them to start hounding me.

"You were telling me earlier that you couldn't find the right reason to leave her and now you have the perfect one. You don't even have to make it out like _you're _the asshole. Make her think it was because she was cheating," Iggy exclaimed.

"Fang," Nudge began in a gentle tone. Or as gentle as she could be when she had to yell for me to hear practically. "You're obviously not good for each other and the longer you both dance around this, the more miserable you are going to be."

"I don't even think she is aware on how I feel," I mumbled.

"She probably has an idea. You can say she feigns innocent and can't see it, but any girl in her situation with a brain would be able to. And it probably hurts her. But the longer you let this drag out the harder she is going to take it, especially if she really does love you and you act like everything is fine." Nudge patted my hand softly in reassurance. "Now I'll be back. I'm getting a drink. Want one?" She directed the question at both her husband and I. I declined Iggy told her a drink and she was off.

"Now relax and have fun. Let loose, Fang." Iggy wiggled his eyebrows at me playfully.

I flicked my gaze around the room before sighing in agitation, my heart sinking. "I can't."

"Seriously! I bet your wife waited for the exact moment after you left to call up some random meathead. I just find it great the amount of loyalty you have to her and she absolutely has none," he snorted. I wanted to correct him and say it was respect I held for her but knowing him he'd probably say she didn't have any of that for me either.

"It's not that I don't want to. . ." I rubbed the back of my neck uncomfortably. Iggy forgets that this is all new grounds for me. I've never been out to a club without Lissa. I've never tried to flirt with a girl other than Lissa. I've never had sex with a girl except for Lissa. I was out here and I had no idea what I was doing or what I was supposed to do.

All at once his eyes lit up with a mirthful understanding. _He was laughing inside about it but thank God he understood me without me having to spell it out. _"Don't worry. I got your back man," Iggy winked and I instantly got a bad feeling. "What else is a wingman for," he smirked. I watched him curiously as his eyes scanned over the crowds of people. When they suddenly stopped, I froze. "What do you think about her?" He nodded his head in the direction of some brunette. "She's bangable."

_If Nudge were here she would pummel him. _

I rolled my eyes but nonetheless looked over in the direction he was aiming at and spotted the girl. I shrugged, "I guess she's fine."

_I should have kept my damn mouth closed._

"Works for me," he grinned mischievously and before I could react he was out of his seat. My mouth fell open and I paled at his intentions. To avoid embarrassment, I snuck away from our table and went in search for the bar, hopefully without him seeing which direction I went in. I regretted not taking Nudge up on her offer to get me a drink and I decided to get my own.

Sighing, I waited for the bartender to acknowledge my presence as I scanned the crowd for Iggy or Nudge. I could handle Nudge and her blabber mouth at the moment but Iggy had surprised me with his actions. Who knew what he was telling that girl I wanted. I hadn't been about to stick around to find out and I really hope he's not chasing me down with some random chick. This was really proving to be a long and terribly boring night.

When I first called Iggy, I had been pumped. I had been fully prepared to take some girl home. Now that I was here though, I wasn't so confident. I've been out of this game for a very long time, if I was even in it to begin with. Getting back into it was harder than I expected. Maybe I should just go back home. I obviously was too old for this ga-.

Out of nowhere, I saw a hand fly out next to my face to hail down the bartender. I looked next to me and scowled. _Good luck with that because I've been doing that for the past five minutes and got nothing. _The scowl slipped away slowly when I took in the features of the girl next to me.

Just from a quick glance I could already use beautiful as a word to describe her. She had to be about my age, maybe younger. Her eyes looked slightly dark in this lighting leading me to believe they were brown. Her hair was to her mid-back in golden brown waves. The dark purple dress she wore was tight and clung to her every curve, only reaching to mid-thigh. Against my will almost, my gaze zeroed in on her glorious cleavage from her low-cut dress. If I was thinking clearly I probably would have felt a bit ashamed for openly gawking.

_She was definitely bangable,_ as Iggy would put it.

So enraptured by her I failed to notice the bartender take her order until it was too late. Still, I reached my hand out quickly calling for him. "Wait!" Not hearing me or completely ignoring me, probably the latter, he didn't even turn around and moved down the bar to help some other customer. I wanted to facepalm myself for getting distracted by a girl. To save myself from further humiliation, I hung my head.

"Well it was kind of your fault." I tensed as I looked over next to me. It was the girl in the purple dress and she was smirking at me cockily as she sipped on her drink. "You were too busy ogling my chest."

Oh great, I wanted to groan. Now I was in trouble with this chick for staring at something that was on obvious display. Slowly, I prepared myself for the verbal attack I was sure to come.

Surprisingly it never did.

"Can I buy you a drink? I feel kind of bad that you've been standing here," she grinned at me sweetly.

"You want to buy _me _a drink? I thought the guy was supposed to do that." _Did I have this all backwards? Was the girl supposed to buy me a drink? _I honestly meant to keep that last statement in my head but she clearly heard it.

Her brows raised and I could tell this time I actually offended her. "So I offer to get you a drink and the first thing you think to do is to call me a guy," she snapped.

I winced as I held my hands up in surrender. "That's not what I meant! You are definitely a girl, a pretty and gorgeous _girl_. I'm sorry, just forget I said anything," I pleaded as I tried to cut of my rambling. "I've just had a bad go and I haven't even been in a club for ages." I felt the need to explain myself so didn't come off as a jerk or a weirdo. If I could spend my night with any girl in this club it would be her hands down. I'm sure it was too late for that but a guy could only hope.

Her eyes widened, baffled. "Really?" she asked incredulously as if she didn't take any of my compliments to heart. At my hurried nod she continued. "I'm not any of those things but thanks anyway," she gave a small smile. "And I find it very hard to believe that you don't ever show up to this kinds of places. You just- you're just-"

"I'm just what," I frowned.

"Come on," she pouted. "Don't make me say it for you. This should be like you scene."

"My what," I scrunched my brows in puzzlement. _Was she insinuating what I think she was?_

She swallowed before shaking her head, a red tint lighting her cheeks. "Nothing," she mumbled while looking away. Finally the stupid bartender came around as usual he zoomed in on the gorgeous female sitting next to me. It was hard to miss though I'll give him that. Like the first time she got my attention, she shot her hand out so far it was almost impossible to miss. That's all a girl like her would need. All she would need is for him to see her hand before he saw the rest of her body and he'd make his way over here like someone lit a fire under his ass.

He looked at her so attentively, wondering what she wanted and I knew it wasn't only me that was put under a spell when they looked at her. His expression was almost comical when she directed him to take my order. Almost grudgingly he asked what I wanted and I responded with a winning smirk.

After I had my drink, I half expected the beautiful girl to ditch me. Shockingly she stayed seated next to me as she finished her drink. "So why are you here if you don't come out often?"

"I felt like I deserved to." It wasn't a lie but it also wasn't the whole truth either. But after I found out what Lissa's been doing, I think I'm more than entitled to one night. "What about you," I countered wanting the subject off me and my wife's affair.

"Well at first I was being someone's third wheel but then I ditched them to have my own fun." Her eyes gleamed and I didn't know if it was my overactive imagination or what, but to me it sounded like she wanted to have fun . . . _with me._

I gulped nervously as I attempted to hide my unease. It wasn't that I wouldn't do what she wanted, I just didn't want to get ahead of myself. She was like a temptress and could probably get any guy in this club to fall to his knees. My form tensed again when she touched my hand casually. "What's your name," she grinned as she leaned closer.

"Nick, but just call me Fang." Thankfully she didn't question the nickname. It wasn't something I wanted to explain right now.

"I'm Max," she smiled openly and I almost forgot her hand touching mine until she held it gently.

In an attempt to distract myself from her touch I said the first thing that popped into my mind. "Isn't that a guy's name?" I seriously wanted to punch myself the moment those words left my lips. _Could I get any stupider? _

"Really? You want me to call you a tooth and you question _my _name," she chuckled at me. "You just love comparing me to dudes. I'll let it slide though because you're cute." When I flushed slightly, she laughed wholeheartedly and pulled me to a stand with her. Drinks forgotten, she yanked me to the dance floor and pushed her back into my chest. I stood there awkwardly as she moved against me and went to grind on me. I had no idea how I was supposed to react to her or what would be too much so I refrained from moving at all.

"Dance with me," she leaned back and whispered. I don't know if she meant it to but her words came out sensual and I felt my body stir. Slowly, I let my arms wrap around her waist to secure her to me. I let her sway against me and I merely moved with her.

I was so out of my element right now. Even when I was with Lissa, I never wanted to dance. It just wasn't my style and no matter how much she whined I would never bend on it.

I wanted to do this for this girl though. Call it hormones but I was completely willing for anything she suggested. I had no idea how she pinpointed me out of all the guy's in this club but I wasn't about to ask her. She might realize that I wasn't even close to her league and would discard me.

I let my hands fall to her hips to grip them on each side when her hand came up to grip the back of my neck. I didn't want to touch her the wrong way and she slap me away. I only moved when she moved. I only got more open when she got more touchy.

I stilled when she forced my head down, her lips barely an inch away from my own. Her breath fanned across my face as she continued to sway against me with the bass.

_Was she testing me? Was I supposed to kiss her? _I honestly had no idea. All I knew was that this incredibly sexy girl was wrapped around me like a vice and that I had this intense urge to kiss her myself.

Throwing caution to the wind, I connected our lips and she instantly responded. It was almost as if she had been waiting for me to take that first step and now that I had, she gripped me with relief. She turned to fully face me instead of straining her neck to kiss me and latched onto me tightly. Our mouths were moving against each other's hotly and every time she rubbed along me in a certain spot, I felt myself getting even more overheated.

I gasped when Max yanked my face away from hers. She was staring at me with desire set deep in her gaze. She was gripping my hair tightly in her hands as she held me away. She wouldn't let me pull away fully though and I soon realized it was because she wanted to say something.

"Your place or mine?"

Past my fogged up mind I found myself able to muster a shocked expression. "_What?"_ Was she suggesting. . .

"Well, I don't really want have sex in a club." She said it as if it was an obvious thing.

Okay. . . so she _was _suggesting what I was thinking.

My mouth dropped open as I tried to calm my rapidly increasing heartbeat. Max all of a sudden pulled completely away from me. Even with the dark setting I could see her features erupt in a bright scarlet. "Wasn't that where this was headed?" She moved to hold her face in her hands suddenly. "Oh my God! I completely read this wrong. I'm so sorry- I thought you wanted to-" She interrupted herself while shaking her head in mortification.

I was still gaping at her incredulously. I just couldn't comprehend that this girl, astoundingly gorgeous girl, actually wanted to spend the night with me. _Man, it had been too long._

It took her getting ready to walk away to get me to snap back to reality. She is not leaving! She can't walk away after saying she wanted to sleep with me! In a flash I had her wrist ensnared in an unbreakable grip. I made sure it wasn't to hurt her but she was not walking away.

Max turned back to face me, her eyes ablaze and probably ready to maim me for yanking her around. "What-!" I cut her off with the only thing that came to mind.

"Yours."

This time her mouth fell open and she simply blinked. Her blush slowly began to dissolve as she finally understood what I was saying. After a second she had my hand back in her grasp as she dragged me away from the dance floor and too the exit. I wasn't paying attention to where she was taking me as my gaze was on her rear, in all honesty. I was watching the way her dress hugged her waist and how every step she took would raise the material ever so slightly. Maybe I should have been paying attention because she stopped suddenly and I bumped into her back.

I thought she would be mad but she turned around and gave me a knowing smirk. "Did you drive here?"

My eyes widened as I realized I was about to just walk out without telling Nudge or Iggy. "Actually my friend drove me. Let me go tell them I'm leaving."

When I went to pull away, she jerked me forward. "They'll be fine. It's not like I'm taking you back to my lair to hold you hostage and overtime eventually kill you." She laughed at my weirded out expression. "Just text them," she waved me off and continued walking giving me a glorious view.

It took me a second to notice we were walking down the street on an empty sidewalk. "I could of paid for a cab."

"It would have been a waste. I live just around the corner," she smiled as she proceeded with a hurried pace. She was beginning to make me stumble though so I yanked her back and walked with her at my side. This time I controlled the pace. She seemed surprised but soon just melted into me. It was clear she wanted to get there as soon as possible and I did too. But it wasn't necessary. I wasn't going anywhere so we'd have each other in due time.

The walk was calm but when we walked over the threshold of her apartment, it was like a frenzy. I could barely remember kicking the door shut before we were stripped and I was hovering over her tiny frame in her bed.

* * *

><p>Waking up the next morning, I felt completely refreshed. It seemed perfect almost. The sun was beaming into her room at just the right angle and the white of her blankets and walls intensified the brightness. I sat up a bit and noticed Max was latched onto me. Her face rubbed into my chest from my movement and her arms around my waist tightened. One of her legs was thrown over the both of mine and I gulped loudly as the white sheet slid down revealing her chest.<p>

This was so _weird. _Touching a woman that wasn't Lissa was new.

As gently as I could, I eased out from under her. To my shock it didn't wake her up so I quickly pulled the sheet up to cover her nudity.

Though I felt great right now, I had no idea when the guilt would hit me. I thought I would feel it right when I woke up and I'd slink from her bed with everlasting shame. I felt completely the opposite though. Even as I walked through her apartment, picking up my clothes and pulling them on, I felt _nothing_. Nothing except for a deep satisfaction.

My shirt had been discarded somewhere in her living room but once I tugged it on, I made my way back to her room. I didn't even entertain the thought of just walking out on her. That would be rude and even if this was a one night stand, I'd feel wrong just walking out without saying bye. It wasn't like me to use someone like this.

If I thought about it, I didn't even want to leave. I knew that if I left all that awaited me was Lissa at my own apartment. She'd be expecting an explanation on why I didn't return last night. To her understanding I went to Iggy's to have a guy's night while Nudge was at a friends. Hopefully she didn't call Igs though. I forgot to text him last night so not even he knew where I was. Hopefully he knew better than to tell my wife that he lost me at some night club.

"Leaving already?"

I had wondered back to her room and thankfully I didn't have to wait for her to wake up. She was already sitting up and stretching her arms out, snickering when my eyes landed on her bare chest.

_She obviously had no shame._

"Did you want breakfast or something," she asked as she climbed out of her bed naked. She moved to her dresser and pulled out a pair of panties and a baggy tank top. She raised a brow at me as she started brushing out her golden brown hair.

I cleared my throat and looked away. "Uh- actually I should get going." _Was that what I was supposed to say? How do you do the night after? _

Her features fell and I saw that I said the wrong thing. "Oh well, I'll call you a cab them. . ." She slowly left from the room and headed to her kitchen.

When she was completely out of the room I facepalmed myself. "_Stupid, stupid, stupid," _I grumbled.

Yeah, I had definitely never been in this situation before. It wasn't that I didn't want to stay and possibly have a repeat. I liked Max, I really did. I just knew absolutely nothing about her, I had no idea how to tell her I wanted to see her again, and then not to mention I had a _wife. _A cheating wife but a wife all the same.

"The cab should be here in about twenty minutes," she said curtly and I winced. She was clearly annoyed right now and I bet she wanted me to wait outside.

_Get to know her. _

"Sorry," I mumbled. "I'm not really a talker and I'm terrible with words. And if it wasn't already obvious, I don't do the whole one night stand thing" I sighed when she only raised her eyebrows at me, clearly not caring about my apology. "I would stay but I have work." Mustering up some courage under her intense scrutiny I said, "But I'd really like to have your number."

Max visibly relaxed when she realized I wasn't just trying to escape. And I wasn't. I honestly could see myself dialing her number. "You know, I don't do this at all either. You're actually my first," she spoke freely as she typed her number into my phone.

My eyes widened and I immediately felt like the biggest douche. "You were a . . . virgin. . " _Did I just deflower some poor innocent girl?_

Max laughed comically. "Yeah when I was 17." She went off into a whole other round of giggles at my flustered expression.

* * *

><p>"Dude, next time you decide to hightail it out of there with some random chick, can you at least send a text. Nudge was flipping out all night!"<p>

I grunted as I walked through Iggy's place grabbing my keys. "Sorry."

"A grunt and a monotonous apology is all I get?! After I told your wife that you crashed at my place instead of banging some club chick like you actually were! I had be all nice and everything. Do you know how hard that is when you're talking to someone you absolutely despise," Iggy was practically exploding and his features that were usually pale were an angry red.

I rolled my eyes at his words. He's always hated Lissa and Lissa always had something nasty to say about him. They disliked each other but they more or less tolerated one another for me. "Thank you, Igs. I know I owe you big time," I clapped him on the back. "Tell Nudge I'm sorry I scared her but I am alive and well. Not dead somewhere in a ditch."

I was at the door getting ready to make my exit when Iggy pushed me to the side. "Whoa, whoa, whoa." I gave him a confused look as he settled himself between me and the door. "How was it?"

Giving him a deadpanned look I pushed him out of my way and shut the door behind me. Now that I wasn't actually facing him, I let the small grin I was holding back take over my features. For once I was actually happy about something and I had no clue if it was because I hooked up with some hot girl or because I actually liked this said 'hot girl'. I would definitely be seeing Max again though. This wouldn't be the last time I got to see her.

And it wasn't. I actually called her the next week when I was positive Lissa wouldn't be home. All Max had wanted to do was hook up it seemed and I wasn't going to complain. After we had met at least five times though, I told her I actually wanted to go out. I enjoyed being with her but contrary to popular belief, not all guys just wanted sex. I didn't know whether to consider it a date or not but we went out to a diner for some lunch. This was the time that I actually got to learn about Max. And we talked a lot.

I found out that she had just finished college. She had been at the club that night to celebrate with two of her best friends that also happened to be dating, hence why she was the third wheel. Apparently it was the first time she had been single in a while. Her and her boyfriend of four years decided to cut things off the date she went out. Her reason for why brought on that guilt I thought would never come.

"I realized that after these four years, I loved him. But I didn't love him the way he wanted me to, the way I used to. For the longest time I hadn't said anything because I was afraid. He was one of my best friends that I told everything and I didn't want to lose that," she shook her head with sad eyes. "Finally I gathered the courage to actually tell him how I felt and he agreed. We were too much like friends."

I didn't know what to say. I felt like God was shoving this is my face for a reason, reminding me that I still in fact had a wife that still thinks I'm in love with her. It made me feel like a coward.

"Are you guys still friends," I finally settled on saying.

This seemed to bring a bad memory as she solemnly shook her head. "He met somebody and the girl was uncomfortable with the idea that he's seen me naked and the whole past relationship. I didn't let him choose between us and I walked away."

"I'm sorry." I was saying more than she realized with that apology. I'm sorry for lying to her. I'm sorry for the day that I actually will tell her about Lissa and whether that will hurt her or not. I dreaded the day I would actually bring myself to tell her.

* * *

><p>That night had marked the first time that we met up and didn't have sex. The first of many. I found myself meeting up with her to actually be with her. When I wasn't around her I would be texting her. Constantly she'd be on my mind. Now it wasn't just about sex to me anymore, it wasn't about a release. I actually wanted to be with her and I wanted to give her all of my time.<p>

Two months passed by in a blur. We considered ourselves to be dating and in a relationship now.

_Too bad I was already in one._

That guilt, it slowly grew. It was stuck in my head and I couldn't get away from it. And it wasn't because I was afraid of Lissa and what she might do if she finds out. It was because I was afraid of Max and what she would do if _she_ found out. She never questioned why I always asked to go to her place instead of mine. She never noticed the slight tan line I had from my missing wedding band. She never asked why I always had to abruptly leave in the morning or during the day. She never questioned me and I saw that it was because she trusted me. And that trust pained me because I was doing her wrong. It pained me because I knew I would eventually ruin it and throw that trust in her face.

Every time I went to tell her I would always chicken out. Max could just blind me so easily. When I was with her it felt like I was in another world, everything was perfect and I didn't actually have a secret life. There was nobody but us and all my problems faded into the black. I was in a relationship with Max, only Max and no one else. And Lissa wasn't there. I may sound terrible that I hold such disregard for her, but I couldn't help it.

Being with Max had opened my eyes to many things. She had been sleeping around long before I ever met Max, I was sure. The way she acted when she came home sometimes resembled me in much the same way when I got back from being with Max. Dazed eyes, bleary smiles, obvious love high, maybe even a few love marks that couldn't be explained. . .

Max also showed me what I had missed out on. I wanted to say Lissa held me back but I wasn't going to blame her. I held myself back. I settled on Lissa. I missed out the college experience. I ruined my marriage. I was cheating on my wife. I was cheating on my girlfriend. It was all such a mess and I had no idea what to do. I was lost on whether to confront Lissa or Max first.

This couldn't go on anymore. I had to tell her. Max deserves to know and maybe if I explain to her how much the past two months have meant to me, she might be more inclined to accept me.

I was going to do it. I called her and gave her directions to mine and Lissa's apartment. Lissa was away on a 'business trip'. Wasn't sure if I believed that one or not. But I was adamant that today would be the day. I would tell Max the truth and when Lissa returned I would tell her how I felt. I was just praying that Max wouldn't hate me too much, hoping she wouldn't write me off so quick.

But like every time Max came around, I was distracted. The first thing she had done when I opened the front door was smash her lips against mine. I had quickly pulled her into my flat where I had half a mind to keep her in the living room. After I was undressed she pushed me down to sit on the couch where she then began to strip, my attention never straying from her form. Nude now, she moved to sit on my lap where I held her tightly. She reached for my pants, grabbed my wallet looking for the condom like she always saw me do. When she grabbed my wallet however, she held it the wrong side up. And a soft _thump_ fell on my chest. It was a cold metal and held a firm weight. And all at once I felt my stomach drop straight down to my butt.

_My wedding band._

With baited breath I watched as she looked down and slowly picked up the object. I watched with horror filled eyes as she rotated it between her fingers. When she finally seemed to register what it was, she gazed at me with a certain fear that shocked me. Her mouth opened and then fell close as I saw her eyes become a bit watery. "Were you married? I- is this old," she stuttered as she gazed at me with hope filled eyes. When I said nothing, too surprised to say anything, she rose off of me and stood in front of me, still holding the ring. "Are you m-married, Fang?" Her lips trembled and she looked like she was about to burst into tears.

"Max, " I swallowed nervously. "I was going to tell you. . ." My heart broke at the tears that slid down her face and I tried to pull her to me, to sit back on my lap so I could explain. From the time that I've gotten to know Max, I quickly learned that she wasn't crier. She wasn't really big on emotions at all and didn't whine nearly as much as Lissa did. And that appealed to me greatly. But she was one of those people that if she was crying, you knew you fucked up. I had never even once seen her shed a tear. And now it looked like a whole dam was about to break and I felt like shit.

_Like I should._

She slapped my hands away violently. "Don't touch me! _Do not touch me_." She was holding tears back it seemed before she rested her face in her hands. I felt myself becoming more and more lost. I should have done something though because faster than I could blink, she was throwing her clothes on and running to the door.

"Wait!" I jumped to my feet and I could hear her trying to open the door until she realized I locked it, to which she began fumbling with the lock. "MAX!" I heard the door open and I quickly ran after her with only my jeans covering me. She was standing at the elevator waiting for the doors to open and I took my chance. "Max! Please just listen to me," I begged as I grabbed her at the crook of her arm.

"Don't you _ever_ call me again. Don't look for me, don't contact me, don't even think about me. I don't want anything to do with you," she hissed vehemently as she yanked her arm away. "You're _disgusting. _Using me on the side and then coming home to your wife afterwards." She made a noise of distaste in the back of her throat as she finally entered the elevator.

Before they could close, I pushed them back open and entered myself. "You're the only person I've been with for the past eight months."

"You expect me to believe that you didn't touch your wife at all while dating me." She scoot all the way to the other side of the elevator. "You used me." Her voice cracked and I cringed. Seeing her so obviously distraught tore me apart.

"I was going to leave her and whether you want to believe me or not, I was going to tell you about her today. It's why I called you."

She rolled her eyes before turning on me with a blazing furor. "_Don't lie to me,_" she said between clenched teeth. "You called me over here for what you always call for. That's why you kept me around." She shook her head humorlessly. "You were _never _going to tell me." She jabbed me roughly in the chest as she spit her words before she turned and left out the open elevator. I was about to follow her but people were openly staring with their mouths hanging open.

"Mr. Ride?" I saw my neighbor from a few doors down gazing at me baffled. _Lissa was sure to hear about this. _I couldn't bring myself to give a shit. Lissa didn't matter to me. The only thing that I truly cared about just walked out those doors.

Dejectedly, I pushed the button for my floor and set my face in my hands. I felt moisture gather in my eyes but I forced them back down.

I lost her. Max was gone and I'd never see her again.

* * *

><p><strong>AN~ So this is just the first part. I don't know if I should post the second part or not but if enough people ask for it I'll post it. If I do post it, it will be switched to an M rating. If it would make certain readers more comfortable, I'll put a line thingy where the scene starts and another for where it ends. Thanks for those that read and I hoped you enjoyed. Please tell me what you think. **

**~PurpleLlamanator **


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N~ Thanks for all the support. I really appreciate it so I tried to get this out as fast as I could. I had wanted this up a while ago but the firewall on my computer expired so I had to wait until I could get another. I responded to most of the messages but since some were anon I couldn't respond to those reviewers. I'll try to cover everything here though. A few of you wanted me to extend this for a few more chapters and I hope this doesn't bum anybody out but I'm keeping it at two. A lot of people tend to drag on their stories too much and I don't want that to happen to this one. I also find myself really liking the concept of one, two, or threeshots. It's like reading someone's entire novel and getting to the point quicker. I believe someone suggested doing a bit of Lissa's POV and I am sorry but I won't be doing that. I don't like to stray from the two main characters, Fang and Max, because it's not really about her as much as it has to do with them. In all honesty this is mostly about Fang but for the person that asked for Max's POV, I ****_will _****be including that. The first half will be in Fang's and then we'll go to her for a bit. It will end with Fang's though :) *There is a 'mature' scene. It's not anything to raunchy but I'm posting this as a t rating to make sure people know I updated it but I'll switch it to m soon. **

***Though I said there would be no continuation onto this, I meant for this concept. If I get an idea for another part as a oneshot with these two like someone suggested their marriage or kids, I am not against that. I'll just post it as another oneshot suggesting readers to read this first :) Just I am not good at making full novels in my opinion that's why I stick with this format. Sorry about the long author's note but I didn't want to seem like I completely blew off other people's suggestions and stuff but please enjoy!**

_**"You can never regret anything you do in life. You kind of have to learn the lesson from whatever the experience is and take it with you on your journey forward,"**_

_**~Aubrey O'Day**_

_**"Never regret anything you have done with a sincere affection; nothing is lost that is born of the heart,"**_

_**~Basil Rathbone**_

* * *

><p><em>Fang~<em>

"Oh! You're home?" Lissa had just arrived back from her 'business trip' and was staring at me in surprise. "You're usually out all day."

I felt my heart ache. _I was usually with Max._

"Are you okay?" She was staring at me worriedly now, not even fully standing in the living room.

"Lissa," I sighed as I shook my head. "We need to talk." I set my tired gaze on hers. I hadn't been sleeping well for the past week. After everything that went down with Max, I couldn't bring myself to do anything but go to work. There was no doubt in my mind that I looked like shit. I probably had dark circles around my eyes and my usual tan complexion was more than likely paler.

I was at the end of my line and Lissa probably saw that. I had no idea why she looked afraid though. Before she came to sit next to me on the couch, I thought I heard her gulp as she bobbed her head in acceptance. "W- what's on your mind, Fang?"

She seemed really nervous and I merely raised a brow. _What was up with her? _I felt like she was scared I would suddenly jump up and start pummeling her. I would never raise a hand to her though, even if she had been cheating on me for God knows how long.

I cleared my throat and connected my dark eyes with her bright green ones. "I want a divorce, Lissa." I had been sitting here in this apartment all day waiting for her arrival. The words came easily and I wasn't anxious at all. I knew what I wanted and I wanted Max. If it wasn't too late to get her back, I knew the only way we would continue anything was if I had least started the process for separation.

A tear leaked from the corner of her eye and I almost wanted to roll my eyes. I restrained myself though I was at the edge of my patience. "May I ask why?" Her voice cracked but unlike when we were a couple, it had no effect on me. Don't get me wrong, I'm not some jerk that gets off on women's tears. It was just that after seeing Max cry, I didn't really care to spare her feelings. I knew I was the main cause for her pain but it all wrapped around this dilemma. This had to get done and needed to happen now. I wasn't delaying this anymore for her. This had been a long time coming and I now saw what Nudge had meant. There was no way Lissa had not seen this in the works.

It wasn't my style to pin the blame on other people. I took the fall for my actions and though it was tempting to tell her the reason was because she fucked someone else, I wasn't like that. Giving her my usual unemotional stare I said, "I met somebody." I didn't even blink as I said those words in a monotonous tone. I wasn't going to lie to her and make her think I wanted to fix this. I was long past fixing this. There was no sugar coating what I wanted to say or happen.

Like the overdramatic Lissa I had come to know, my words set her off. She was off her feet standing before me and like I suspected, that little tear jerking moment was an act. If you were looking at her you wouldn't even be able to tell she had just been crying. Instead her eyes held anger as her features scrunched in ire. "You _cheated _on me," she hissed the words at me.

This time I _did _roll my eyes and I made sure she could see it. "Drop the whole innocent act. I know you've been fucking around too and don't act like you haven't." I couldn't even bring myself to feel angry. Max had me so down I felt anything else, especially having to deal with Lissa, was a waste of my time.

She instantly looked away in shame as her pale features blossomed into a bright pink. She was caught and she knew there was no point in denying it. What's the use? We're still getting a divorce. I'd compromise on financial aspects and I would give her the apartment, but I _was _leaving her. Her lip trembled and when she tried to swallow it down, I knew that these were the real water works. "Can't we at least try to work it out?" Gone was the vicious snapping snake and in place a whispering defeated girl.

Before the words had even completely got out I was already shaking my head. "I'm over this, Lissa. I'm done with this." _I'm done with you._

"Why . . . when . . .?"

She wasn't even forming real sentences so I just told her everything. Like I said before, I wasn't going to lie and sweeten everything for her. We were adults and I'm going to be upfront and honest with her. I wanted her to know why I was leaving her. She deserved that much. "We had been drifting apart since the day we got back from our honeymoon. This," I motioned between the two of us, "was a mistake."

Her face immediately turned ashen. "You regret me, you regret _us?_"

I paused to actually think for a response. _Did _I regret Lissa? The answer came to me slowly and it surprised me. It was much different than how I felt two months ago. I wondered when the change had come.

For the first time, I didn't see Lissa as a mistake. I don't think she ever was. What we had before marriage was fine and it was great while it lasted. She was apart of my past and while we didn't turn out how I expected, she was something to embrace from my memories.

"No. I regret letting this drag on for too long when we both deserved an out."

She remained silent so I continued. "We shouldn't have been sneaking around behind each other's back and I should have been straight with you, as you should have been with me. We both deserve to meet other people." Still, she remained quiet and I honestly didn't know what else she wanted to hear. I wasn't about to carry this out longer than I had to so I pulled out the papers I had picked up from the local courthouse. I placed them in front of her with a black, ballpoint pin, my signature already signed at the bottom.

_Nicholas Drew Ride _

Lissa simply stared at the paper, her eyes focused on my already there chicken scratch signature. It was clear I had made my decision but she looked like she wanted to turn away. Tears were slowly sliding down her cheeks but I didn't care. She wasn't going to change my mind. Nothing she could ever say or do would sway my decision.

Wiping her runny nose on her sleeve as she sniffled, she leaned over and signed her name.

* * *

><p>"I don't know what to do," I moaned as I buried my face in my hands. As usual I was at Nudge and Iggy's apartment asking for advice. They were all I had besides my parents but I couldn't approach my mom or dad with a situation this completely fucked. My mom had loved Lissa and my dad respected her. I slept with another woman that was not my wife and my parents would look down on me for that. They didn't raise me to be that way and I didn't want to endure the shared masks of disappointment they would both be surely sporting.<p>

"You've tried calling her?"

Is he serious? That was the _first fucking thing I did. _My only response that didn't involve telling him how dunce he was, was to glare at him slowly out of the corner of my eye.

"Okay. . . What about texting," he proposed excitedly.

Beating me to it, Nudge slapped him in the back of the head. "Doofus! She's not going to just _talk _to him," she spoke to him as if he were stupid. "How long has it been?" She turned serious as she glanced at me with sadness in her eyes.

I swallowed deeply, forcing back the pain at the thought. "Two weeks," I whispered as I laid my head on my crossed arms as they rest on their kitchen table. "I've called her, I've texted her; the only thing left to do is knock on her door." It was clear that she didn't want anything to do with me though. If ignoring my ten calls a day didn't get the message across.

"Did you tell her that you and Lissa are over? That might make her happy." Iggy of course entered back into the conversation with what Nudge deemed mediocre advice.

"No girl wants to hear that she is the cause of a man's separation from his wife. If anything, it'll only make her feel worse about the situation," Nudge glared at Iggy silencing him for good. "The only way this is going to get fixed though is if she allows you to speak to her. And if she ever does, you better explain till you're blue in the face." With that, Nudge left the apartment completely.

It was clear that Nudge was irritated with me. She flat out told me I was an idiot for what I did. Nudge was completely right as usual. I dug my hole and now I'd have to lie in it.

It was quiet as Iggy was enraptured with his thoughts and I sat there at their kitchen table groveling.

"My advice can't really be that bad. . . can it?"

I rolled my eyes. _Yes, Iggy, yes it can._

"I know Nudge has been telling you to ignore me and anything I have to say, Fang," Iggy said on a serious note, "but if I were you, I'd go speak to her directly. _Make _her talk to you. And if she still doesn't want anything to do with you, move on."

I felt that ache go though my heart at the idea of losing Max. This was only her anger and stubbornness, right? She'd take me back after I explained, wouldn't she?

"People do stupid things, Fang, but that's why we learn. We grow from our mistakes and that's how we learn and become better people." Okay this was getting too emotional for me. . . Feeling it was time to go, I got up from my seat but as I was about to leave, I heard Iggy finish his speech. "Don't mope around getting hung up on the past. You might lose this girl, but take the lesson and move ahead with it."

My back was facing him but I didn't let him see how much his words meant to me. This was why he was my best friend. He knew exactly what to say. Even though he was essentially telling me that I might've just blown my only chance with this amazing girl, he gave me some heartwarming words of wisdom to go with it. Not even Nudge could do that.

And though Max may think it's over between us right now, I wasn't done with her. She will listen to what I have to say. I won't leave her alone until she does. I was in love her and I knew there was no mistaking that. It made me realize even more that leaving Lissa was the right decision. When we were together I had felt _nothing _like this before. I don't even think I fully understood what love _was _at the time. But Max opened my eyes like she did for a million other things and I wouldn't give up on her.

I guess that little dose of courage was the reason why I was currently standing in front of her front door. Apparently I used it all up because I was contemplating even knocking on the door. I'd have my fist raised to knock then I'd slowly put it back down. I repeated that process at least seven times before I ordered myself to quit being a pansy and gave a firm knock I was sure she would hear.

There was no answer. Grumbling under my breath and becoming more confident, I banged on the door louder this time. Like before I didn't get a response and I couldn't hear any movement on the other side. It was obvious she wasn't here and my point was proven when I heard a female's voice.

_Max! _My eyes widened as I quickly ran for the steps and looked down. At the bottom stood Max laughing and giggling happily. To see her in such a good mood, it brightened my once somber features and I moved down the steps to greet her. I froze when I saw who she was standing with and instead of a smile, I now had an angry frown.

Max was talking with someone. Max was talking with a _guy._ I was close to just pushing past her back to my car and forgetting I ever decided to come here before I saw something that made me snap.

The guy pinched her butt. _He pinched her butt. He touched_ my_ girlfriend. On. The. Rear. _

I don't think I have ever gotten this infuriated so quickly before. Never I had I let my emotions get ahold of me so they affected my actions. Even though it would have been smarter to just walk away before I got myself arrested, I marched directly up to the pair. My hands were balled into fists and all I saw was red and a giant target on this guy's face.

Now I understood what Iggy had meant all those months ago. This had been the reaction he was aiming to evoke from me. This was I how I should have felt when I learned that Lissa was fucking some other guy. But I really hadn't given a shit about how many guys Lissa had been plowed by, even if the numbers rose into the hundreds.

Max on the other hand was another story entirely.

"_Hey!_" I barked roughly as I drew closer.

* * *

><p><em>Max~<em>

"Max, please come out."

I ignored his voice as he remained outside of my room for respect.

"It's been two weeks since I last saw you smile. Let me take you out for the day," Sam suggested trying to bring my mood up with a gleeful tone. Faintly, I heard the sound of my bedroom door opening before a lump fell on my back.

"I don't feel like going anywhere," I mumbled into my pillow. I doubt he understood a word I said.

I heard him sigh before he stood and I was about to thank God that he decided to leave me alone. I was already regretting giving him a key to my apartment. I frowned when I heard him shuffling around in my room and then my comforter was abruptly yanked off of my frame. I was about to screech at him to get the hell out of my house but I quickly pulled a pillow over my face with a gasp. He had opened the blinds and the sun scorched me right in the cornea.

I heard him laugh as he told me to 'get my lazy ass up'. I merely flicked him the bird and he simply left the room while chuckling.

Eventually leaving my room, I nodded my head at him. "Let's get food. I'm starved," I muttered.

"Um, I don't think so. Max, you look, smell, and are dressed like shit. If you are getting in my car you are going to bathe first then put some clothes on other than an oversized t-shirt and some baggy sweats. It's summer and for God's sake are you even wearing a bra!" he exclaimed.

I groaned in complaint as I slouched my way back to my bedroom. Funny how I didn't even want to go out but he was refusing to let me in the car unless I changed. I should just get back in bed and act like he never showed up.

"And you better not go back to sleep!" He hollered all the way from my sitting room. I almost shrieked in response.

"Happy now," I hissed at him as I finally exited my room dressed and ready to go. I looked presentable enough and I wasn't going to change again. Plus I felt like I could eat an entire cow.

"Ecstatic!" He clapped excitedly and if he weren't already gay I'd question his sexuality. Not that all homosexuals acted all flamboyant. "Grab your phone so people can actually reach you. I thought you were dead when you didn't answer my first fifty calls," Sam frowned disapprovingly.

"I don't need it. I turned it off anyway," I shrugged.

"Still lighting up your phone?"

I shook my head. Fang hadn't stopped trying to reach me since the day I found out he was married. He'd call at all ours of the day and when he wasn't doing that, he was sending me texts. I still had yet to read them all and every time a voicemail was left, I deleted it. I didn't want to hear his voice. I actually read a few of the messages and they were all along the same lines.

'_I'm sorry Max.'_

_'I meant to tell you. I _was _going to tell you.' _

_'Let me explain. You don't understand.' _

How did I not understand? What was so hard not to comprehend? Fang had a wife, he possibly had kids. And I was a little home-wrecking tramp that just ruined someone's marriage. Granted it was unknowingly but I still did it. It made me feel terrible about myself and I needed to get away from him. My family had been split up because my dad cheated on my mother. I still spoke to my dad but only when I had to. I came as close as any person could to despising someone they love. I think Fang was about to top my father in that department.

But now I was just like my dad. Even worse, I was the other woman.

I was so stupid though. All the signs were there. He never invited me to his place. He always had to leave at random times. When we wanted to meet, it sometimes sounded like he was waiting to ask his mom permission to leave. Now I knew, he was actually waiting for his wife to leave. The last time I saw him, even the unusual tan line where his ring was clearly missing became so blaringly clear. It should have been completely obvious to me and I was officially the biggest idiot out there.

Preparing myself for the onslaught of this mornings missed messages, I turned on my phone. The breath I had been holding released all at once when I saw that there were none. That was surprising but I was sure their would be more messages by the night's out.

"What he say this time?" Sam frowned.

I shook my head as I pocketed my phone. "Nothing." You could hear the shock in my voice.

"Well good! I don't want that two timer Tammy ruining our day," he joked but feigned a stern face.

* * *

><p>"Let's go play Putt putt!"<p>

"No Sam, I'm tired," I whined. It was in the evening now and we had spent the better part of the day at the mall going shopping. _*Gag* _And now he wanted me to let him drag me off for another hour or two to stand and smack a ball into a hole. No thank you!

Sam pouted and gave me a sad face. "I'm trying to get you out so that I can actually see you smile again. I want you stop thinking about that guy."

I sort of deflated at the mention of Fang. I _hadn't _been thinking about him until he just brought him up. I had been having too much fun with Sam that I forgot about the situation completely. As a reflex, I pulled my phone from my pocket to check for any missed messages. There were none and while that should have made me happy, I felt a bit of disappointment blossom in my chest.

This had been what I wanted him to do. I asked him to leave me alone and act like I never existed. He hadn't been doing that for two weeks straight though so when he finally stopped, it worried me. I felt like I lost something which is ludicrous because I lost him a long time ago. Truth be told he was never mine to begin with.

"Hey," Sam spoke softly and made me face him. "I shouldn't have brought him up. I just worry about you. I've never seen you this hung up on a guy before and it scares me. You didn't even act like this when you and Holden cut things off." We were standing outside of my apartment complex and he slowly began to smooth out the stress marks that appeared at the mention of Fang.

"I feel like such a whore though," I almost whispered to myself to the point where he couldn't hear. "I destroyed a marriage."

"Did he tell you that," he questioned furiously, getting angry at the idea Fang might have pinned this entire thing on me.

I recoiled not expecting this reaction. I felt the urge to defend Fang though and I had no clue why. He didn't deserve my help. "No. He never said that. He didn't have to though." _Oh great! _Again I felt the waterworks trying to make an appearance. I forced them back though. I was sick of crying. It was all I had been doing since I left Fang standing in that elevator all those days ago. I was over the whole sob fest and I wouldn't allow myself to shed another tear over this.

I gasped as arms came around my waist, holding me to Sam's chest. It took me a second to realize he was hugging me before I reciprocated. I even leant my head against his shoulder as he rubbed my back soothingly. "Maybe you should speak to him." That was like a bucket of ice cold water being dumped on me and I wanted to pull away and leave Sam standing here. He wouldn't let me pull away from the embrace though and his grip tightened. "I think you need closure, Max. At least see him one more time to settle this. I'm not saying take him back and act like everything's okay because what he did was really shitty. But give him a chance to at least defend himself."

I sighed and agreed though I felt like doing the complete opposite. Fang didn't deserve Sam's pity. Nonetheless I would do as Sam suggested no matter how much it pained me. Going to pull away, I slouched when he still refused to let me go. "Sam-" I only got out his name before he began tickling my sides. Twisting and tugging wildly, I started laughing boisterously. "Sam! Cut it out," I giggled when he continued his torture.

"Alright, alright," he appeased. "I just wanted you to smile," he winked and pinched my butt before he let me go.

"_Hey!"_

I startled loudly at the intrusion. I hadn't heard or seen anybody else walking around or making noise in the area. I thought it had just been Sam and I. Obviously I had been wrong because when I looked to the stairs, Fang was stomping down them.

_Fang! Fang was walking down the stairs._ My eyes widened to the point where I thought they would roll out of their sockets. So many questions were running through my mind. What was Fang doing here? Did he come to see me? Why didn't he call first?

Why does he look like he's about to commit first degree murder?

I didn't have long to ponder anything because he stepped right up to Sam and pushed him, _hard. _The force had knocked Sam clear on his ass and that was enough to snap me back to reality. A horrified gasp left my lips as I fell to my knees at his side. Sam didn't look to be in pain but merely shocked that he was just pushed into the floor. The attack really had come out of nowhere.

Always the hothead, I glared viciously at Fang. "What is wrong with you?" I shrieked as I helped Sam rise to his feet. I had a hand wrapped around Sam's arm and Fang seemed to only notice that. If possible he became even more infuriated.

"Who the hell are you," he yelled at Sam, completely ignoring my question. Fearing he may attack again, I moved to stand in between the two.

Sam didn't even acknowledge Fang. He simply looked down at me, touched my back reassuringly before he made his way to his car. The traitor was leaving me!

Feeling a headache coming on, I rubbed my temples to disperse the tension. I hadn't expected Fang to just show up so unexpectedly. I at least thought he would send a text as a warning whether I answered or not. I was going to talk to him after what Sam said but now I wanted to walk away again. This was my place though so I'd literally be walking up one flight of stairs. If I wanted space, Fang would have to leave and I doubted he would make that easy for me. Trying my luck, I pushed past him aiming for the stairs.

I felt ire wash over me when he gripped my arm and spun me around to face him. "We need to talk and I'm not taking no for an answer." He said the words calmly even though I knew he was anything but. He rivaled me in stubbornness though and never blinked as he spoke, the command clear in his tone.

"Well if you're done providing this evenings entertainment for my neighbors, I thought we'd continue this upstairs," I hissed as I yanked away from him and made my way to my flat.

When we were in the cover of my apartment standing in the sitting room, I turned on him. Neither of us sat though, both of us too riled up to take a seat. "You have some gull to just randomly show up here and attack him like that!" My features were beginning to go red from my irritation as my fists balled up, ready to punch him clear in the face. He had me that aggravated!

Fang was clearly pissed of as well but he held up a cool front. I admired that about him. Even though he was close to losing his head, he was still able to remain Mr. Cool, Calm, and Collected. "Who is he?"

Really? That's all he had to say. "It doesn't matter who the hell he is," I shrieked. "You just punched him and you won't even apologize!"

If possible, his eyes became darker and I could tell I only increased his anger. "Is he your boyfriend?"

I wanted to laugh and I almost did. Sam and I, in a relationship? Ludicrous! Sam and I don't even play for the same team. Though I still thought it was none of his business, for some reason I didn't want him thinking I moved on so quickly. "No. Sam is my friend."

Fang continued to stare at me with disbelieving eyes. He thought I was lying to him but I had no reason to. He had no motive to doubt me. If I remember correctly it was him that lied to me for two months about having a wife.

Still he stared not saying anything until I finally said, "Unlike you, I don't have multiple partners." It might have been a low blow, I don't know. What I did know was that he deserved it.

He flinched more from my words than my tone, I'm sure. I hoped it hurt. I hope anything I say to him in this moment hurts as much as I've been hurting these past few weeks. "Max- I. . . I never meant for this to happen," he whispered as he placed his face in his hands. He often did this when he was dejected about something and I'd seen him do it a few times when we were still together.

"Never meant for us to get involved or never meant for me to find out you have a wife," I spit out harshly.

"I never meant for you to get hurt!" his calm façade finally broke as he looked at me. His tone had raised a bit and it startled me. I had never heard Fang yell before.

"Well how else did you expect this to go?"

"I wanted you to let me explain! You ran off though and have been avoiding me ever since," he accused.

I didn't like that, how it sounded like he was blaming me for something. This was all on him in my opinion. "What was I supposed to do," I yelled. "I'm in the apartment you own with your _wife_ getting ready to have sex with you on _her _couch!"

"That wasn't supposed to happen. I called you over because I was going to come clean!"

"And then what? That you were done with using me for _two months_. That you were going to act like I never happened so you could act casual around your wife? What? Do you have kids too?!" I wished it didn't but the thought made my heart ache. That was all I had ever been to him. Something different from the usual goods he got from his wife. I was a side order while he came home to the main dish every night.

"_No!_" He was shouting now too, his voice rivaling my own. It seemed all of his energy left him in that one word though. Finally he moved to take a seat on my couch where he dragged his fingers through his shaggy hair. "Just- you're not understanding," he shook his head.

"Then explain. Stop acting like you deserve my forgiveness when you haven't earned it," I spit the words at him, trying to spark his anger again. I didn't want him to be all morose like this. Seeing him so down, it had me wanting to calm down myself. It had me wanting to forgive him.

"How could I have earned it if you never gave me the chance to," he whispered.

I swallowed the lump in my throat, tears trying to make an appearance but I refused to let them show. I wouldn't be weak in front of him. "I'm giving you that chance right now." My voice was lowered and we were both simmered down from the earlier shouting match. I was surprised my neighbors hadn't knocked on the door to ask if someone died.

"Her name is Lissa."

My eyes widened. This wasn't what I meant. I didn't want to know this woman. I shook my, "Fang, I'm not-"

"No. Just listen," he stared at me intensely before I nodded reluctantly. "Lissa and I met in high school where we started dating. Later we went to the same college and soon after that I proposed. We'd been married for almost four years."

"I was young, Max. I thought I was doing the right thing. I thought it was some process that just about every adult went through. After the wedding I had my doubts but when the first year went by and I still couldn't bring myself to care about her, I felt like shit. I made a mistake that I thought would either ruin my life or a friendship I've had since before I could remember."

"I thought it was just me who felt this way. Lissa always acted happy no matter what, it was almost to the point that it was unnerving. Anytime the idea of divorce or separation entered my mind, I'd shut it down instantly. I didn't want to regret losing her," he swallowed.

"Just two months ago, I found out Lissa was cheating on me. I had an inkling that she was but I never knew for sure." I was staring at him worriedly. Already I felt regret wash over me and I wanted to interrupt him, but he kept on. "That was the night I met you."

He looked away, ashamed with what he was about to say. "I'll admit that the first few times that we got together, it was just for sex. But after that first time we went out and talked, _just _talked, I knew I actually wanted to know you."

Fang simply stared at me after that but one thing was still bothering me. "How can you say all of that when every minute you weren't with me, you were with her?"

"Max," he sighed. "I already told you that you were the only girl I've been romantically involved with when we were together. Lissa and I hadn't have sex six months _prior _to me meeting you."

I looked down at my hands, feeling at war with myself. I wanted to forgive him but on the other hand I felt he deserved to suffer a little more. This all just seemed too easy for me.

"My marriage was fucked up long before I met you, Max. All I've done is let relationships control me. When I'm with you, I do something because I _want _to do it. You were what finally pushed me to do the right thing and file for divorce."

"And _that's _the right thing," I asked incredulously.

"It is for us. We don't love each other anymore. And after meeting you, I realized that I don't think I ever loved Lissa to begin with. I settled with her but I'm not settling anymore." He grabbed my hand firmly and forced me to look at him. "I love you and I want to be with you, Max. And there is no mistaking that."

"Fang. . ." I shook my head, still not feeling right about the situation. His marriage was ending and still couldn't help but feel like I caused that. "Maybe you should go-"

I had went to pull my hand away but his strong hold tightened exponentially and to my surprise, he pulled me onto his lap. I was on the verge of berating him and slapping him but those thoughts didn't get far. My breath caught in my throat when his lips slanted against mine. I didn't get a chance to even react before he was pulling away again. Fang stared at me with his usual penetrating gaze. "I'm sorry for the asshole move but stop being stubborn," he whispered to me gently as he rested his forehead against mine.

Was I still really mad at him? No, not really. I still felt that he should have told me the moment we got serious. It was wrong of him not to tell me but I felt shitty for avoiding him now. After I actually let him explain I felt aggravated at myself for not giving him a chance to speak. We could have been past this _days_ ago. We could have been together _days_ ago.

Nodding my head slowly but still trying to keep contact, I pressed my lips to his softly. "I'm sorry I ignored you," I whispered against his mouth still sitting on his lap.

"I know how you can make up to me. . ." he trailed off suggestively. I giggled as I leaned away and slapped him playfully. My giggles dissolved when I saw that he was being completely serious though. I gave a deer caught in headlights look before I yanked his mouth back to mine furiously.

Our tongues were twining together and in a flash I was on my back on the sofa, his large frame hovering over me. My hands were wrapped around his neck as his held my waist to his tightly. I felt him pull away a smidge and I made a noise of protest. "Bed?" He was gazing at me, breathing as labored as my own.

_He pulled away for that? _"No," I snapped as I pulled him back down to me. He must have appreciated my reaction though because he groaned into my mouth. I gasped when he ground into me but his mouth silenced me once more. The next time he pulled away, it was to tug his shirt off and toss it somewhere in the room. His forwardness shocked me when he sat me up and began pulling my clothes off. Fang was usually more reserved than this but there was no way I was about to complain.

I went with it and kicked off my shorts and panties, much to Fang's relief. He had just tossed off his own bottoms and went to kiss me again when I pushed him away. "What?" Though it didn't slip into his voice, I could see just by his eyes how frantic he was getting.

"Condom," I grinned and pushed him off the couch roughly. I laughed when I heard him curse as he ran across the room for his pants. The sight was appealing and disheartening at the same time. Appealing for the obvious reasons; Fang being naked and me getting to watch. Disheartening because this reminded me of two weeks ago.

Fang had hurried back over to me, getting ready to straddle my legs when he saw my face. "What's wrong," he asked calmly, even though I knew he was anything but. He touched my face gently before he appeared to get an idea.

I shrieked shrilly a I was yanked up and tossed over his shoulder. I started to chuckle. Not only had his playfulness changed my mood, but I appreciated that he was taking this to the bedroom. When we reached the bed I thought he would just throw me onto the mattress. I was surprised to find him lowering me to the pillows with ease, almost like he didn't want to hurt me.

Finally he was climbing onto the bed with me, finding his place in between my legs. We both gave moans of relief when he slid inside of me. He was on his knees, laying his top half on me completely, resting there for a minute giving me time to adjust. I pushed my hips into him softly, wanting him to proceed.

That was all he needed because he rose up with his hands on either side of my head and began moving. The reaction was instantaneous in me and I moaned out loudly. I let my hands grip his shoulders as he kept pushing into me. His pace was leisurely at first and he slowly built himself up.

At some point he laid himself on me entirely again, still moving but gripping my pillows again. He was grunting with every thrust now and I knew that meant he was close. I wasn't too far off myself and my legs rose up to tighten around his still thrusting waist. My hands that had been gripping his shoulders were gripping his back as I held him close.

Past all the adrenaline, past all of the pleasure; this was what I missed the most. _Being _with Fang, I was more than just the sex. From the way he moved a hand down to grip my hip desperately, or the way his breaths hit my neck in frantic gasps; I knew I was never going to find someone like this again. No one would complete me as much as this man did right now.

When I felt myself hit my climax, I unconsciously dug my nails into his back from the force. I buried my face into his shoulder to at least muffle my extremely loud moan. It only took Fang a few more thrusts before he too had reached that highpoint. Both of his arms slid around my back pulling me up slightly as he emptied himself into the condom.

In the aftermath, we still hadn't moved and all that could be heard was our slow panting. Fang still lay over me and now his face that was buried in my neck, ran along my bare skin causing me to shiver.

"Are you staying the night?" I found myself asking after laying there with him for quite some time. There hadn't been that many nights where he'd spend the night with me and if he did, he would usually leave as soon as I woke up.

"Are you asking me to stay or is this you telling me to leave?" I wanted to laugh at how he obviously was still out of breath but then again, I was too.

I hugged him to me as I snuggled closer. "Stay."

* * *

><p><em>Fang~<em>

For the longest time I just stayed awake as Max slept. She was still latched onto my side and I reveled in her warmth. I couldn't explain how I felt at the moment. I doubt there were any words that could describe how I felt. There were just so many emotions going through me right now.

I definitely felt relief. Relief that she took me back, relief that she was giving me another chance. _And I was determined not to screw it up a second time._

There was happiness and love, so much that it made my heart ache.

Out of all the ones I could detect though, I found one missing.

Regret. Yes, I made mistakes and yes it brought me pain. But it wasn't something I was meant to forget. I didn't regret anything that had happened to me because all of those mistakes brought me here to this moment with Max. And while I'll probably make many more mistakes in my lifetime, I learned not to regret them. I need to learn from them. For the first time in a _long _time, regret was not on my mind.

* * *

><p><strong>AN~ Thanks for reading! I hope you guys enjoyed reading this as much as I liked writing it for you. :) If you liked this I have another oneshot I think you'd enjoy called Virginia is for Lovers. It's FAX also :) If you are a fan of that one already, keep on the lookout for another oneshot to go with that. I also have ideas another idea for a FAX oneshot so just keep in touch if you're interested! :D Thanks for reading! Please leave reviews! I read them all :) **


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